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Worse Finale Ever

Okay, perhaps not the worst ever, but the finale of Battlestar Galactica was, to me, a let down. I can deal with the cliche of our ancestors being humans from another planet. The continual flashbacks on characters before the war I can accept. The idea of leaving the character of Starbuck resolved by mysticsm or religion...no. Writing in the sci-fi genre means resolving all issues in sci-fi: technology (fictional) not fantasy or theology. The crew who brought us this incredible series could have given a better explanation that aligned with the genre for such a favored character. What is most annoying is an explanation was obviously even toyed with: that Starbuck was the daughter of the lost 7th model, Daniel. Here, then, is my proposed explanation utilizing Daniel.

First, accept that Hera, the Human-Cylon hybrid of Helo and Athena, is just a simple child with no special insight or powers. Wipe that away. The scene where she gives her drawing to Starbuck, that is music that is the coordinates to our Earth, is removed. She remains important only in that she is a Human-Cylon hybrid.

Second, assume Resurrection technology, which is the transference of organic memory, can also create a new body as well as just transferring memory to an existing body. Human bodies are rather similar internally; the outside differs. Let the Resurrection technology be able to use the memories to shape the external body to the correct appearance but taking days, maybe weeks, to complete the task. The final five just made it more efficient by growing the bodies first, and the Cylons adapted that as their preferred method.

Go back in time, after the first Human-Cylon war is over. The final five are creating the 8 models. Daniel, curious to humans, decides to visit the Colonies. While visiting, he falls in loves, marries, and has a child: Starbuck, the first Human-Cylon hybrid. He is a musician and he teaches his daughter to play the piano.

Back at the Resurrection colony, John is moving on his plan to annihilate the human race. He captures, kills, and boxes the final five. Then, he dispatches skinjob Cylons to retrieve Daniel. John informs Daniel of the plan to attack the Colonies and wants all Cylons together. He tells Daniel what he has done to the final five and offers Daniel the choice of fighting with the Cylons or being boxed himself. John, arrogant as he is, even brags to Daniel how he plans to re-introduce the final five into the Colonies so they can suffer then repent at his feet once they each resurrect.

Daniel decides to appear to cooperate with John while actually planning an escape. An artist, a musician, he modifies the final five's memories to include "programming" that would cause a certain tune to play in their head so they would realize they were the final five, or at least special from the humans. Then, Daniel takes a Colonial Viper that the Cylons had captured during the first Human-Cylon war—and which the Cylons had upgraded with Cylon navigation and jump drive—and escapes. His plan is to return to the "Earth" of the final five.

On his journey, Daniel finds the planet where the Temple of Hope was built. It is he who incorporates what is necessary so that the image of the final five appears when any of the 8 models built by the final five is present. He then jumps away, continuing the journey, until he finally arrives at the devastated Earth of the final five. There, orbiting the planet, he finds the ship where the final five had the Resurrection machinery stored for their own salvation after the nuclear holocaust. It is still active and responds to any being that has the genetic code of a skinjob.

Let Daniel then continue exploring, jumping across the stars, until he finds our Earth. When he eventually jumps back to his "home" of the Earth of the final five, Starbuck arrives. During the machinery's labor to recreate her, Daniel realizes this is his daughter. He scavanges the wreackage of his Starbuck's Viper to learn of the second Human-Cylon war, their journey, and the origin point of her voyage to the holocaust Earth. He decides to help, altering his resurrected daughter's childhood memories of learning to play the piano at her father's hand. The tune in her memory is changed to match the FTL coordinates to the new Earth. He also implants memories of her orbiting the new Earth. Daniel then puts his daughter in to his Viper and has it jump back to the Colonial fleet.

Time passes in the series. Eventually, the fleeing Colonial fleet arrives at the Earth of the final five, and is disappointed. The fleet jumps away, leaving only the remaining 3—D'anna' behind. She is left alone, she believes, until she turns and finds her "brother." Daniel tells her of what he has done, and convinces her to journey with him to the new Earth to await the arrival of the final five and the Colonial humans.

The finale of Battlestar Galatica can continue as it was aired. Hera is rescued, and Starbuck, haunted by the song implanted in her memories by her father, types in the coordinates that lets the Galactica's jump drive take the humans to new Earth. The only element of the finale that needs to be changed now is that Starbuck meets her father on new Earth, and goes off with him on the new planet rather than just vanishing.

That is my proposed alternative ending. I'm going to keep that more as how it should have ended rather than what was aired. The new Battlestar Galactica was an awsome series. The ending needed to be as well.

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Buffett

I received an email asking why I haven't written a blog entry for a very long time. Truth of the matter, I got distracted—inside joke to Daddy Tim in Ft Lauderdale: "Where'd the bunny go?"—plus there is so much happening it's hard to choose. For example:

Illinois impeaches its sitting governor but not before he exercises his responsibility to fill the Senate seat vacated by the new U.S. President through appointing, despite his preference to choose Oprah but was concerned she would not return his call, a long–standing politician who is now facing purjury charges for his "evolving" story about what contact he had with said governor and aides.

Unsuccessful Republican 2008 Vice Presidential hopeful Governor Palin returns home to face issues about her taxes as her unwed daughter, fresh from giving birth, grants an interview were she promotes abstenance but calls it unrealistic while her boyfriend—who looks awful in a suit but looks so hot as hell when sweaty and wearing his hockey gear that I'd like to suggest to the publishers of Playgirl they book him for cover and centerspread with accompanying "life–style" article—and father of the child continues to avoid the alter despite campaign rehtoric.

House and Senate Republicans who voted against President Obama's stimulus bill are now asking for their cut of the money for the states they represent while continuing to refer to the legislation they dissed as the "spendulus" bill.

Actress, former talk show host, and The View alumni Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show lasted one, count them, one airing.

A woman, with an uncanny physical likeness to Anglina Jolie and possibly the same aspirations, with 6 children and gives birth to octuplets now believes she is qualified to be considered an expert in motherhood worth $2 million.

The global economy is in the crapper.

My father passed away leading to a wake and funeral during which mourners asked if I was a friend of the family, my religious zealout brother took the opportunity to use his eulogy to "save" the sinners in attendance rather than speak about our father, and together with my niece who I'd not seen for 10 years and is fucking gorgeous with a personality that favors her uncle instead of her dad cruised the former high school/college football star funeral director who looked like a larger version of Bristol Palin's baby daddy.

Battlestar Galatica returned to finish up the story after leaving all us sci-fi faggots to spend months filling up the blogosphere with guesses on the identity of the final cylon of the faboulous final five, which is now eclipsed by the question of who and or what is tomboy Kara "Starbuck" Thrace (no, "closeted lesbian" is not the correct answer though it seems right).

The citizens of the United States of America elect an African–American to its highest office, a first in the history of the "first world" countries.

Oh, wait. The biggest distraction of all: the boyfriend.

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Kennedy Komplex

Caroline Kennedy, daughter of late President John F. Kennedy, and her uncle, Senator Ted Kennedy, both endorsed Senator Barak Obama earlier this week. The media trumpted the news with Ms. Kennedy’s Op–Ed column in the January 27, 2008 edition of The New York Times leading the charge. "I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them," she writes. Her statement leads me to ask the question: to which people is she referring?

The first President I remember is President Richard M. Nixon, and that memory is of sitting in the car next to my mother outside our church with WGN on the radio. The topic was Watergate. The next President in my memory is President Jimmy Carter. JFK, to me, is just a few pages in my history book from high school. The most I remember of him is he challenged America to go to the moon, the social programs he wished to have were implemented after President Lydon Johnson took office, and that he was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. The years of Camlot when JFK and Jackie lived in the White House, so revered by those who were of age at the time of his presidency, I have no recollection, nor do those who are younger than me.

My personal trainer is 25, a white male, married two years with his first child on the way. His wife is some medical type employed at a local hospital. Our last few training sessions, between the sets of torture he puts me through, he and I have discussed politics. This Presidential election in November will be the first he’ll cast a vote, and he’s concerned he may cast a vote for a candidate who will, when in office, make things worse. With the Kennedy endorsement in mind, I decided he’d be a great subject for a non–scientific test.

Me: Who is JFK?

Personal Trainer: What do you mean?

Me: Who was John F. Kennedy to you?

Personal Trainer: Well, he was President and was killed.

Me: Anything else?

Personal Trainer: Is there anything else?

The Cuban Missile Crisis, Man going to the moon, Jackie, John–John (my personal trainer didn’t even know that was JFK, Jr.’s nickname), Camelot, none of this my personal trainer knew nor did he care. To him, the endorsement by JFK’s only daughter means nothing. My personal trainer, who leans Democrat, is considering Senator John McCain the best candidate for the next President with the only concern being the Senator’s age.

My assumption is that the Kennedy endorsement of Senator Obama is to seal the idea that the Illinois Senator is JFK v2. I don’t understand the reasoning behind that. The only things I believe President Kennedy and Senator Obama have in common is youth and both deliver speeches well. President Kennedy’s experience in Congress spans 14 years with first being elected in 1946 to the House of Representaties then to the Senate in 1952 where he remained until he was sworn in as President on January 20, 1961. Senator Obama has 8 years experience in the Illinois state Senate followed by being sworn in to the U.S. Senate January 2005. President Kennedy joined the U.S. Navy in 1941 to become an intelligence officer then was transferred to a PT boat command in the Motor Torpedo Boat Squadron after World War II started. Senator Obama has no military experience.

Senator Obama runs on the platform of hope for a better future. He wants to move on rather than return to the 1990 Clinton era or Bush 43 disaster. Given that one–third of the potential electorate have no memory of the "grandeur"—real or imagined—of the Kennedy Camelot, including Caroline Kennedy as she herself was too young to fully appreciate the times, I have to wonder why the Senator would embrace an endorsement from a past not everyone remembers.

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Big Barbra

The writer’s strike continues leaving studios scrambling for new television content. Reality shows, which are easy to produce, cheap, and do not need writers, are filling more time slots during prime time. I have an idea for such a show, based on Big Brother. The name is Big Barbra in which 10 male porn stars—some straight, some gay, some bi—will live together in a big house with the show hosted the first and last show by Barbra Streisand with a different drag queen dressed as Barbra hosting all the shows between. This is a sure fire hit!

The "Barbra" hosting for the week would act as referee and "house queen." Every other week, one of the porn stars would be voted off the show. He would know his fate when "Barbra" handed him a dildo of only 2 inches in length. The final show, the real Barbra herself would return to declare not only the winning porn star but also the winning drag queen: the one she felt portrayed her the best! It would conclude with Barbra singing "Enough is Enough."

This would be a block–buster series. It has sex, muscle, good looking men, sex, more sex, and, of course, Barbra! Ratings would be through the roof, I’m sure, with advertisers lining up to take advantage of the huge of audience of queers who want to see the guys, the girls who want to see the guys, and the red neck Republicans who want to jeer at the guys. This has total cross appeal!

No, I have not been drinking heavily before I wrote this. Maybe I’m a bit light–headed from low carbs for contest dieting but ... what?

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Bake Sale

Congress has deferred any vote on additional funding for the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts until 2008. This move prompted the Bush Administration and the Department of Defense (DOD) to complain that such an action endangered the deployed military troops. The DOD, it says, is now in the awkward position of having to manage the funds in its military budget to compensate for the funding denial. Oh, my: having to live within the budget rather than be handed additional funds without any conditions. It’s doubtful any American household is going to feel any sympathy, and perhaps the Iraqi elected officials may take notice that—finally!—the US Congress does indeed have a say in the management of the military.

I saw a saying when I was in college (which was just a few scant years ago ... hey, I’m feeling old today so just give this one to me), which goes something like this: "Wouldn’t it be great if schools had all the money they needed and the Defense Department had to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber." Actually implementing this idea boggles my mind. First, the sight of seeing Defense Secretary Gates side-by-side with Generals and Admirals on the street selling pastries they baked with their own hands is awesomely humorous. Second, the DOD and the Bush Administration would get direct feedback, through the actual dollar amount in sales, from the US citizenry on its opinion on the Iraq occupation. Third, the US would actually be investing money in its own future rather than that of another country.

I have said before and will repeat that the US does retain responsibility for the security and well–being of Iraq and its citizens due to the invasion and deposing of Sadaam Hussein. Responsibility, however, does not mean the US has to forever fund Iraq along with the do–nothing Malaki government. Engage the United Nations, reach out to the Europeans, reach out to the other Arab nations. Terror aside, Europe and the Middle East are easier targets for violence erupting from a failed Iraq than the US shores. Bush Administration pride, however, I believe is in the way of reaching an agreement with other nations and governments for assistance. Maybe a crack can be put into that pride by some honest work in the heat of the kitchen.

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Wanted: Naked Bodybuilders

The few times I take to watching porn it has at least 1 man and at least 1 woman. That’s right: a guy who takes another man’s cock up his ass prefers to watch a man and a woman go at it. Flicks with an all–male cast do little for me. My preference for live action is a man banging a woman, or two woman eating each other out, or two women taking turns riding a guy’s cock. The few times I get in to naked men the focus is on still images with 90% of those being competitive–class bodybuilders. It’s finding quality images of that type that is difficult.

Searching the web for sites that offer freakish, naked, ’roided muscle doesn’t reveal a lot of true choices. Many returns are made but just because the site uses the word "bodybuilder" in the title or in HTML keywords doesn’t guarantee a site with that content. Most feature twinks on their second cycle straining to curl a 30–pound dummbbell or bodybuilder wanna–be’s who sport over–sized smooth upper bodies with great abs but small legs and no calves instead of the serious heft neck–to–toes I seek. It’s men matching the physique and stature of pros like Jay Cutler who peel off the posers to flash their dripping hard cocks while bouncing their pecs and flexing their quads that get me to shoot my load. If I learn the man also seriously competes on stage, then I shoot even more.

Talent who started as muscled porn stars but grew themselves into competitive bodybuilders such as Caesar or Tom Katt is hard to find in flicks let alone stills. Blue Blake does a decent job in bringing such men to his productions but not consistently. I could surely browse through my classic COLT Studio magazines with the competitors that Jim French convinced to drop trou but I prefer images on my Mac since that incident at O’Hare security involving my carry–on, a magazine featuring Carl Hardwick, and a female TSA agent thumbing through it (most Islamic terrorists, I understand, carry gay porn).

MuscleHunks.com is one of the best, consistent sources of competitive bodybuilders who strip down, oil it up, and jack it off. Quality stills and short videos are available for almost each of the models. Sure, yes, it is a subscription site but so are most of the ones featuring the oiled up twink with the meth–abs. The price is worth it to those of us who like to see handsome, 250 pound monsters with 5% bodyfat at 5’7" in height wearing nothing but a smile and a hard–on. Take a look, check it out.

P.S.: No, this isn’t a paid endorsement.

Post a reply by email at rosstaylor@worksbestnaked.com

How Mr Fritscher Saved the Day

Author Jack Fritscher’s novel Some Dance to Remember, published in the early 1990’s, is the tale of the rise of the San Francisco gay subculture in the 1970’s. I read a review of it soon after it’s release and purchased a copy. Since then, Mr Fritscher has remained a favored author of mine, and I usually shun literature with a gay theme.

One of the ideas in the novel is of homomasculinity while another is homomuscularism. Two concepts that hit me when I was in my formative young adult years (no snickering; I’m not that old). Raised in Farmtown, Illinois, no "gay" role models, my first vision of a naked male from a Playgirl. I could have been lost if that had been my only source of what was considered a "hot" man. Fortunately, I found the art of Tom of Finland soon after, and I was saved. Tom of Finland’s art, though, only provided me with the images with which I wanted to identify; it was Mr Fritscher’s novel and his ideas that gave me the words. Words, well–used, have a profound effect on me, more than images, the reason being that my undergraduate degree is in English Literature.

Last week, I took up my electronic pen and wrote to Mr Fritscher, asking about the concept of homomasculinity. My purpose was to learn if he truly believed in it or was it just a plot device. I never truly expected a response. Yet, it arrived this past Saturday. I was honored, flattered, and thrilled. The letter, if had been sent by post and signed, I would frame so to hang on my wall it means so much to me.

For reasons that escape me, my blog entry "The Big Shave" about shaving off my body hair has circulated the internet, producing some notable feedback. I’ve received phone calls and emails from friends reporting seeing it reproduced on some rather well–known sites. David, the moderator of the Yahoo! group Ross Taylor, and probably my biggest fan—and one of the few people outside my close circle who knows my thoughts and a great deal of personal information—went so far as to start a poll to garner support to convince me that my body hair should remain exactly as it has always been (current poll results: 19 responded to the "No way! He has to keep his hair - he's so gorgeous with it! I wish I could lick it one by one over his all body." option whie 2 voted for "Yes, what a wonderful idea! At last, we can see those big muscles."

You’re probably asking what the fuck does Jack Fritscher have to do with my blog entry. Below is an excerpt from Mr Fritscher’s email:

By the way, your performance-art erotic work is known to me, and I congratulate you on your brilliant look which certainly fits into the homomasculine Platonic Ideal of what a man should be. If I were still shooting as many one-man features for my Palm Drive Video as I did before Bush and Cheney and their Justice Department, I'd certainly be talking to you about working together to co-create a dynamite film portrait.

He wins. The hair stays.

I suspect anyone—if anyone does read it— who reads my blog is saying "Huh?!" The answer partly lies in reading Mr Fritscher’s Some Dance to Remember or visiting his site to search and read about "homomasculism." The other part is to understand how my warped, fucked–up mind works. Good luck on the latter, though on the former, well, stop reading my idiotic ramblings in favor of reading something that will challenge your concepts of being, well, a stereotypical fag and/or a man in general despite sexual preference.

You move along in life and sometimes forget to thank people who help make you realize who you truly are as a person. For this particular instance, besides Mr Fritscher, I thank the following:

  • Wolfe &Teddy at Butch Bear, a team that actually recognizes and promotes the hairy male body, and who took the first photograph that actually made me feel I looked great with it (it’s in the gallery: I’m pinching my nipples with my legs spread wide)
  • Photographer Joe Oppedisano
  • Jim French of COLT Studio
  • The late artist Tom of Finland
  • Personal friend, Doug I.
  • David Mophis, moderator, Ross Taylor
  • Members of Ross Taylor and my other fans who write and IM
  • Bodybuilder Rusty Jeffers
  • Bodybuilder Caesar

I may add others as I remember (okay, I am old and forget things).

Post a reply by email at rosstaylor@worksbestnaked.com

The Big Shave

I’ve decided to shave all my bodyhair. The more I look, the more I notice that—despite this supposed Renaissance of the more natural man, the man with hair—men with smooth bodies showing the muscles underneath remain the ones who get the best deal. DVD box covers and movie posters in the industry feature the men who use the razor.

One fan wrote me that I should "embrace my bodyhair." Why? I train at the gym regularly, my diet is geared to building muscle, I’ve been on the competition stage. All this hair just covers what I’m looking to build and define with the hours and the sacrifice. If taking the Gillette to it results in my getting cast by a mainstream studio, if it gets some photgrapher’s attention, I’m all for it even more.

I will be just like all the other men in the industry, I’ve been told, by taking it off. But isn’t that what is wanted by the guys who rent or buy the DVDs and tip the strippers? Studios only produce a product that the market will buy. I want to be in that market, and everything I see and everything I’m told is that the hair needs to go so the muscles show. Hell, even the cover model on a 2007 calendar for a studio that features primarily hairy guys is almost totally smooth. That is a powerful message.

Nab those pictures now of me with bodyhair, if that is how you like my look to be. It’s about to be the past.

Post a reply by email at rosstaylor@worksbestnaked.com

Unclassified

A user on-line IMd me, indignantly asking how a pro-bodybuilder, whom is a good friend of mine and has been very helpful in my bodybuilding, can continue to claim he is "straight." His reasoning is that this friend pro-bodybuilder is often hired for private posing, strips at men-only clubs (I also know he strips for women), and does live webcasts to an audience that is primarly male. I blasted this person a new asshole for his negative comments on my friend bodybuilder then blocked him, which is something I rarely do as I believe in open communication.

I have a saying: "There is no gay, there is no straight, there is no bi; it’s what gets you off sexually, as long as it doesn’t trample on the rights of others or involves children." My point is that physical pleasure, sex, and what works for some and not for others, is very complex and meaningless in the overall scheme of life. Does it matter if a man gets off sucking cock while also fucking pussy? Is a woman lesbian because she eats out another woman while taking a cock not only in her cunt but also her ass?

I’m "sure" the on-liner who accosted me was simply commenting on the hypocricy my friend pro-bodybuilder was committing by claiming to be straight while letting himself being hired by men for private muscle worship. His sexual preference aside, my friend pro-bodybuilder has brilliant business sense marketing himself as sexually only liking women: what faggot doesn’t get hard thinking about the chance of "having" the epitome of straight masculinity right under the nose of the man’s wife? (My friend pro-bodybuilder does have a wife who is beautiful, blonde, built, very nice, and damn! I’d fuck her if the opportunity presented itself!) If such a tactic can get me $300 an hour, I’d employ it, too!

Our subculture often raises its collective voice when we are segmented from the rest of the population, denied our rights, due to our sexual preferences. I agree: sexual preferences and activities should not deny to anyone the rights of all members of the socity. Yet how many times does a faggot cringe at the thought of themselves or of a friend having sex with a woman? Or even smirk at the "odd" fetishes some of our own have that get them off? There’s hypocricy.

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Who Am I This Time?

I read Kurt Vonnegut's short story "Who Am I This Time?" when I was a teenager in high school. It is the story about a non-descript, bland man who, when cast as the male lead in a local play, becomes the exciting character in which he is cast on stage. Once he steps off the stage, he returns to being ordinary. There are days, many days, when I feel the same as this character.

Twenty or so professional photographers have shot me in my career. I’ve never understood the interest. The photographs are developed and either I receive a few, or I see them printed in some magazine or flyer, or view posted on a website, and I ask myself "Who is that hot man?" Honestly, it’s not the man I see in the mirror each morning. It’s not the guy with hair that becomes more grey each day, with a new wrinkle or blemish in the skin that I try to stave off with Clinique skin products, with a few new stray hairs in unlikely places, with the brain that loses another memory each day, with the answer of "Let’s just say I’m somewhere between legally drinking and death" when asked his age. The man in those images of light so cunningly crafted and captured by the photographer, it can’t be me, the guy who pulls on a black Gap t-shirt each morning to look slimmer and wonders when those damn MuscleTech Hydroxycut pills are gonna kick in so I can lose some fat.

"Ross Taylor," whoever that is, is the man in those images that inspire men (and women, I’ve learned) to play with themselves while running some hot, nasty, sexual fantasy flick in their head until orgasming with a satisfied sigh. It can’t be the man who, while inhabiting the same flesh as "Ross," actually writes these blog entries that try to make some sense of the political and social events of his time. It can’t be me because I don’t see the man who make men go "woof" as he passes by or stare or try to grab to get his attention. That’s a fantasy, and believe me: I wish I was that fantasy.

Days there are that I feel fat and sloppy, as when I was a teenager. Other days, I feel skinny and weirdly shaped, as in my early twenties. And all days, I look in the mirror to try to decide what hair cut, what style of facial hair, can I change to that will make me see myself as hot and desireable as are all those COLT Studio models I grew fantasizing about or the porn stars I cruise on BigMuscle.com.

Sure, I have modeled for COLT Studio and can and do put "COLT Man" in front of my name, but I don’t feel as if I truly am so as I sure as hell am not Carl Hardwick. I can put the term "cover model" in front of my name as my first public exposure to the porn industry was the cover of Honcho, but I figure I got the cover because the editorial staff was desperate that month. "Porn star" is a term that can be tacked on to me as I have performed in nearly 15 videos, but I reason I was cast so to make the other models look better and hotter by comparison (a la the pilot episode of ABC’s Ugly Betty when artfully-bitchy receptionist Amanda asks new Mode employee Betty Suarez, "Are you the ’before’ [picture]?").

So, I don’t know. I wish I could look into the mirror each day and see staring back at me the same image as the one I posted at the top of this blog entry. It would make me feel very happy, make it seem as if the time I spent in the gym lifting weights or hours I spent on the stairmill or the gallons of protein shakes I’ve downed while avoiding carbs worthwhile. For one day, just one single day, I’d like do as I imagine every hot, oustandingly masculine, sex-oozing male porn star I’ve jacked a load out does each morning: look in the mirror, smirk, grab himself and say to his reflection, "I’m the hottest man walking this earth."

I just smear on some more Clinique anti-gravity cream to lift the sagging skin.

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A Trapped Democrat

My original thought on this entry was to discuss who would I prefer to be the Democratic candidate for President: Hillary Clinton or Barak Obama (keep in mind I’m born and raised in Illinois and Obama is a native son). I thought and thought, then came to the conclusion I wasn’t thrilled with either. Both I like, both I think have qualities that make them excellent leaders, but I’m unsure either would be an effective President. Part of that comes from their personal qualities and another part just my opinion on how the US of A's electorate thinks.

Is the US citizenry ready for a female President, and is the world ready for a female US President? Is the US citizenry ready for a President of African-American decent? I’d say no, and my response concerns me. I believe one of these two will win the Democratic nomination but yet neither, I also believe, can span the gap to the moderate, registered Republican electorate to win the election.

I feel trapped as a Democrat as the only true alternative—a Republican—I just cannot stomach since the current incarnation of the Republican party is so tied and indebted to the minority Evangelical Fundamentalists that I would be inviting pain upon myself. Whether the candidate be McCain, former New York Mayor Giuliani, or some other rising star Republican, the merciless, blinded Evangelicals will doubtless wish to extract their pound of flesh in return for helping the Republican candidate win the White House. That pound of flesh will come from everyone who lives counter to the Evangelicals’ view of how a person should "be" in our socity.

My only choice, then, my only choice so my rights as a US citizen not be eroded any more than they have been under the last 8 years of W’s Administration, is to cast my vote for the Democratic candidate. I may not feel that said candidate is the best qualified but my primary thought is my own personal survival. It just shouldn’t be like this.

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How to End a War

The New York Times headline article Republicans Block Senate Debate on Iraq Resolution in today’s edition inspired me with the solution to ending America’s neverÐending entanglement in Iraq. I actually hold the opinion that we, as a nation, do have a responsibility to leave slowly rather than just hit the road; a sudden departure only increases the probability Iraq will plunge into civil war. A scaled reduction is the best bet but our elected officials in Congress seem to be once again dragging their feet. I believe my proposed, simple legislation will assist: all children, between ages 18 and 40, of elected officialsÑwhether currently in office or now a private citizenÑwho voted to invade must report for some type of war duty in Iraq.

Child of Democrat or Republican or Independent, it makes no difference. If mom or dad said "Yes!" to the invasion, you go. Sorry, Chelsea Clinton, you, too; perhaps touring with the USO can be your fate. Male children: boot camp time with your new best buddy, the M-16 rifile (or whatever version is handed out today) with eventual deployment to the sands around Baghdad. Vice President Dick Cheney’s pregnant, lesbian daughter: think about birthing that kid in an Iraq hospital.

The only exception would be President Bush’s twin daughters, Jen and Barb, for whom a special piece of legislation will be passed, akin to the one Republicans attempted to pass in the Terri Schiavo case. A special task they should be legally bound to provide: touring each US military camp in Iraq and personally servicing every soldier’sÑmale and femaleÑsick, twisted, deviant sexual desire. That’s right, Mr President: your prized daughters are going to literally give their all for your war. (Kinda makes you really rethink the effort on part of the Republicans to remove hunt down and discharge all gay military personnel, as with gays the worse your daughters could expect would be a really bad makeover.)

Simplistic: yes. When those who voted, promoted, or preached about this war are suddenly forced to sacrifice, it will end.

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The Women’s Room

The original thrust of this posting was the discrimination men experience at gyms where there is an area stocked with cardio and weight training equipment exclusively for women. Then, I read the column "The Romano Factor" in the February 2007 issue of Muscular Development, in which the columnist details the growing tendancy of gyms to shun the hardcore bodybuilder. He specifically cites an incident at an east coast Planet Fitness where a member, who happens to be a correctional officer, was "Escorted out of the club for grunting while working outÉwhich is not conforming with the rules of the establishment." My opinion now is that all gyms needs to have such a room but renamed "The Wusses’ Room" for those who can’t handle using a gym.

I'm trembling in my custom Nike’s right now at the thought that tomorrow, when my sadistic trainer is putting me through a heavy leg day at the Gold’s Gym in Bothell, WA, my ass will be tossed out the door. Actually, I’m kidding. That gym welcomes bodybuilders and promotes the sport, especially since the Seattle area hosts the Emerald Cup. Yet, it seems that the Planet Fitness trend of anti-bodybuilding is becoming more prevalent, even at some Gold’s Gyms.

Planet Fitness itself, by claiming on its website of being a "judgement free zone", is hypocritical. The testimonials speak for themselves. Read a few. I’ve trained at many gyms in the US of A and never found a gym where there wasn’t a diverse crowd. Who are these people giving these testimonials? At which gym were they so terrorized? Or is it just vestiges of being bullied on the recess yard while in grade school? Planet Fitness has judged men and women like myself, who push the limit in training and muscle building, undesireable.

I have respect for everyone’s training routine, and expect that same. My only focus at the gym is my own routine. One being intimidated by someone just because the person is large and muscular is one’s own issue. Get some self-confidence. Failing that, remove yourself from the environment rather than ridding it of the other person. Sounds like the same actions non-smokers employ by getting legislation created to ban smoking in a democratic, capitalistic society rather than actually approaching the owners of restaurant and bars with signed petitions (see "I Like Ainsley Hayes" posting below). Have someone else do the dirty work. Cowardice.

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Olympics with a Disco Ball Overhead

Done and over, I’m not entirely sure of the point of the Gay Games Chicago, affiliated with the Federation of Gay Games, held mid-July 2006 in Chicago. The idea is for athletes, who may or may not been able to compete in Olympic-style sports, to compete in a regulated environment with the overall theme being "personal best" rather than just winning. Yet the week-long event focused more on money and party events than on the athletes, without whom the Games have no purpose. Or, at least, that is what one would naturally assume.

I registered for the Physique contest. It was an opportunity I saw as to see if I had the steel to complete a 16-week training program that featured 6 times a week of intense, 45-minute cardio sessions (I now cringe at the sight of a StairMill), 6 days of weight training (as "Jim, the Boy" of Ft Lauderdale put it: "lifting’s a blast," which it is so I am okay with weights still), and a diet in which my only carb of oatmeal (which I like but eventually despised on the last day of the 16 weeks) was barely enough to keep my body fueled. My sleep was limited due to a full-time job that I had to keep along with all the training. I had to learn to pose correctly, tan, keep a good mental attitude, keep a constant watch on my diet and the necessary changes as the competition date approached, keep my strength at an even level when weight training, and the topper of it all: paint on a tan (twice). Hindsight: I survived, survived well, and am planning to do it all again in 2007 for another competition. Overall, a great experience, a great learning experience not only about my mental strength, but about my body and how it works, where to find support, and realizing priorities in my life.

Most would not know that each competitor, regardless of event, had to pay a registration fee of over $100 plus an additional flat charge for each event in which the individual wished to compete. On average, it cost over $200 just to compete in a single event. It is worthwhile to note that the fee to compete in an amateur competition is $50 or less. In return for the registration and event fee(s), besides the opportunity to compete in the event, each individual received a participation medal, corporate-sponsored branded products such as the Gay.Com backpack, a CTA pass, and little else. Participation in your local Team, such as Team Chicago, necessitated another cost to buy the t-shirt or other apparal to march with the Team in the opening ceremonies. As my interest was only the Physique event, I didn’t worry about Team Chicago even though I received numerous emails, including souvenier sales, from the group despite my request not to receive.

Over 50 emails I received from the date I registered, December 31, 2005, to the final date of the Games. Only 4 of those emails had anything to do with my particular event. The rest were advertisements for the opening ceremonies with spectacular effects, closing ceremonies featuring major celebrity talent, parties that were to die for, souveniers that I could not live without, and that tickets for all events and parties were still available...and still available...and still available (NOTE: my neighbor worked for the Games until she was informed last minute that ticket sales and distribution were her responsibility, a task on which no work was done and at that late date impossible to engage TicketMaster due to the hefty fee). The 4 emails I received pertinent to the Physique contest held little useful information. It seemed that as a competitor, I was being asked to give more money to the Games over the $200+ I had already paid to compete.

All this evidence makes me draw a few conclusions:

  1. The competitors were preceived more as a significant source of income as opposed to the purpose of the Games
  2. Income from parties and such outside the cost of tickets for athletic events was needed, and
  3. The Games was overbudget

I have no idea how many emails individuals who were not competing but signed up for the Games mailing list received. I’m sure just as many or more than competitors received about ticket sales for athletic events, parties, the opening and closing ceremonies, and souveniers. So what was the focus: athletic competitionÑopen to all who registered regardless of skill and readinessÑin a fair environment, or Circuit Party? You play the math game and let me know.

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Finding the Balance

I’ll spit it out: I’m heavily involved with two men who have been partners for nearly 5 years. Yes, our threeÐman relationship is serious. My admission is a bit of a risk. Readers may not see immediately but I can explain.

My first video, Jacked Up by Titan Media, was filmed in a body shop. The director used black tape to alter the license plate number on a car that would be filmed. I asked why. The answer: some porn fanatics are so intent on learning everything about a shoot, about the models, about their personal lives that any item of information is fair game. There is a model with whom I worked once, Mark Magnos, who came home to his condo with a fan waiting in his lobby. I feel revealing the fact that I am dating two men puts them more in the public light than I want or they need.

I am committed to this relationship. I am also committed to our privacy. I continue to appreciate eveyone’s messages, and enjoy meeting face to face, either at a personal appearance for a studio or just out at the bars. Meeting men who appreciate my "work" is always awesome! You all walk up, a bit shy, stutter a "hi," introduce yourselves. There is a slight line now, tho, so please respect it. I’m in love, and not in the mood to fuck it up.

(Yeah, that’s it. Short blog entry. Sorry it wasn’t titillating.)


New Years at Steamworks

The Steamworks bathhouse, which receives high ratings from its many out-of-town patrons, I don’t frequent as usually it is a waste of time and money. Most visits I end up walking around, sitting, walking, cruising, watching, sitting, avoiding, and end the evening jacking off alone. Yes, I am selective with whom I have sex. My visit on New Years weekend this year turned out to be quite the except to the rule.

I finally settled, after doing my usual tour, on a bench positioned across from the gloryhole boothes on the third floor. Sitting there naked with my white terry clothe towel hanging over one leg obscuring my hard dick that I was gently stroking, two guys walked past. A few minutes later they walked past again in the opposite direction. The third time they stopped a few feet away. I could see them in my peripheral vision looking at me, talking. Eventually, they walked over and entered the open boothe directly across from where I sat. Leaving the door open, their towels dropped to expose some very nice fat cock. What the hell. I joined them, shutting the door.

These gloryhole boothes barely have enough room for two people let alone three. It worked for us, though, as the bald one was on his knees taking my cock down his throat and mercilessly pulling on my big balls so hard I was wincing while the tall one used his mouth alternating working my pecs. My own hand was stroking his throbbing cock. Then they changed positions, with the tall one kneeling to suck me for all his worth, the bald one standing up to start pinching my my nipples as I pinched his, our lips mashed together.

I happily took a turn on my knees, happy to have two fat dripping cocks now inches from my face. I grabbed one to stroke while the other I swallowed whole down to the balls. Damn it felt good to have my throat and mouth so fucking stuffed with cock and another leaking in my hand, me smearing the precum around the engorged head and down the shaft. Then the cocks switched places as I chowed down on the second one and jacked off the other. Above I could hear them moaning between kissing.

I was brought to my feet. The bald one turned around and bent over, his round ass right there with my dick pointing directly at it. An invitation it was that I happily accepted by sliding my cock deep inside him, enjoying the feeling of his tightening down on my shaft. Oh fuck. I grabbed his traps and started pounding. Do not ask me to slow down, do not ask me to be gentle, do not ask me to make it a slow romantic fuck when offering me your ass. I get to use it as I see fit, and that means pounding. The sound of the slap of flesh, the friction of my shaft in a hole, the grunts from the guy I’m pounding only make me go harder and faster. Months it had been since I had ass so I was doing it my way. He didn't seem to mind, and his boyfriend was getting off watching his partner take it hard and yelp occasionally.

Maybe it became too much since he pulled away. It didn't matter, though: the boyfriend took his place, letting me continue my rough ride in a fresh ass. He was a loud one, and he got louder when his bald boyfriend got down to suck his cock while also working his nipples. The sounds just inspired me more, pounding harder, almost shaking the flimsy walls. He was a good fuck. Damn.

Turnabout is always fair play with me, so I bent over, my head pressed against the wall as a fat cock invaded my hole. I guess revenge was on the mind of the bald one since he slammed in and didn’t stop. Hard is how I like to take it, hard and fast. Make me grunt, make me wince, make pound my fist. Punch my hole hard, make it hurt a bit, and we’re rocking.

He pulled out, slapped my ass, and the boyfriend’s dick slammed in my open hole. Again, a revenge fuck, one I not only deserved but craved. Sweat dripping off me, his sweat dripping on my back, my cock in a hot wet mouth, all that logic and sense I have daily replaced with just the exhiliration of direct fucking physical pleasure with no fancy overture. Bathhouses are like that: made for pure sex with no false pretense. Go there, find your man or men, work your cock your hole your mouth your fetishes, and pump out a load. There I was in that environment, not caring who I was, where I was, who they were. All that mattered was the feeling of my ass being pummeled while my cock was swallowed whole and massaged head to base by the talented muscle in a man’s throat.

The cum was incredible. It shot out of me like a rocket and the relief it brought spread from my crotch through my entire body. My ass rider took a few more hard pounds in me to remind me he was still there before he yanked out to deliver his load on my back, mixing with his and my sweat. The bald one got off his knees and the two of us each took a nipple while he jacked his shaft. I jammed two fingers up his ass and pulled them apart to spread his hole. He shot.

We got our towels, opened the door, and went our ways. No thank you’s, no invitation for a future repeat. A slap on the ass or a twist on a raw nipple is it. This was a bathhouse: dirty, nasty, no regrets, no thanks, just simple raw fucking pleasure with other men. Fuck that’s good.

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Dancing at The Cuff

I went dancing at the Seattle, WA club The Cuff. It was an awesome time. The club I thought great: the crowd was a good mix, the two vodkas I had were poured nicely, and the dance floor was open and spacious. It’s sprawling size is what surprised me most about the place, especially after I stepped into the main bar. All this plus the fact that one of the images associated with the bar is a blackÐandÐwhite drawing of a shirtless muscular man in leather cap meant I would like it. (I tried to find a t-shirt with this image to purchase but had no luck.)

My friends repeatedly tell me I dance badly. It was always my thought that dancing was about having fun. Okay, maybe I don’t have the footwork of Kevin Bacon or Beyonce’s smooth hip movements but when my shirt comes offÑand it did: a very tight black Adidas brand tank topÑeyes shifted from my stumbling feet to my bouncing hairy pecs and eventually to the slightly lowered waistband of my jeans as the button had somehow come undone and the zipper went down a bit to reveal the lowÐrise jockstrap beneath and the very top of my crack in the back. Okay, you go with your best assets. I think I dance well, and the two hot men I was with also thought I danced well. There were no reported injuries, as opposed to the first time I twoÐstepped, so I guess it went over well.

It was a good mix of men, and the female count was very low. Why women see the need to hang at a men’s bar never made sense to me. Chicago bars are many times racked with women with their "boy pals," as I call the men who have them tag along. My preference is the company of men. Jack Fritscher’s novel Some Dance to Remember introduces the concept of homomasculinity. It is more than the idea of just men who like men (sexually) hanging out together. It is simply men, not necessarily of a sexual nature, who just prefer the company of men over women. I work with women, I respect women as I do any other person, but socially the extent of my interest is getting naked and just banging. So I can be a pigÉlike every other man.

Once I got on that dance floor I did not want to leave. I was moving, I was playing, I was flexing, I was sweating, I was dancing! It’s odd at times for me. Most of the time I don’t see myself as attractive to other people. Nearly each day I downplay my physique by concentrating on only what needs work. Sure, some of you reading this are shaking your head in disbelief, yet that is how it is for me and many others. But sometimes, and that nite at The Cuff was one of those times, everything about myself felt right. It could have been the alcohol, it could have been the attention of the two handsome men who took meÑand who also took me the next morning in bedÑ, it could have been my seeing glimpses of my sweating naked torso reflected in the mirror against which the dance floor abutted. All of it, none of it, I felt like what I was told I was like. It was brilliant.

I’ll be back at that club. The nite was too awesome not to try for a repeat.

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Bodybuilding and IS Sex

I am competing in the Gay Games in July. It is being held in Chicago so I have no excuse not to compete. My dieting I started 5 weeks ago now, a bit early but as I am doing a second shoot for Butch Bear in midÐApril, it was necessary. My life is now mostly gym, work, gym. Four days during the weekday I rise and shine at 4:30 a.m. to stumble out the door to catch 2 buses to my gym. Cardio, shower, then to work. I then travel back to the gym after work. A sample of my training is below:

  • Sunday: PM: Biceps/Triceps, 30 minutes powerwalking
  • Monday: AM: 35 minutes cardio; PM: Shoulders/Calves/Abs
  • Tuesday: AM: 35 minutes cardio; PM: Hamstrings/Calves/Abs
  • Wednesday: PM: Back/Traps/Biceps
  • Thursday: AM: 35 minutes cardio
  • Friday: AM: 35 minutes cardio; PM: Chest/Triceps/Calves
  • Saturday: PM: Quads/Abs

A hot, young bodybuilder named Jim who lives in Ft. Lauderdale said to me, "Training’s a Blast, Dieting’s a Bitch." He’s right. So far the dieting has been okay but I haven’t gotten to the extreme yet as the contest is, as of this writing, 17 weeks in the future. I met with proÐbodybuilder Brad Hollibaugh over the weekend to help outline my diet and training. Eventually, I would be doing 3 days of no more than 80 grams of carbs followed by 1 day of about 200 grams of carbs. Then, repeat. Oye. I am on a reduced carb diet now but the lowest I go is 150 grams. I have done as low as 50 but that was some years ago and I was younger.

One of my main motivations for doing well at the contest is a bet I had with a friend who was planning to compete in the Games as well. The better scorer got to fuck the other at Steamworks here in Chicago. This means the motivation is really sex. I was, of course, torn. I am versatile with guys, and the thought of getting pounded on the third floor of Steamworks in front of the wall of mirrors and an audience is arousing. On the other hand, however, I like to top and I like to win. Such the quandry for me. The obvious solution is to get a third man involved and make sure my score is between then two so I am, literally, later, between the two with my dick sunk deep in the ass of one while having a nice fat cock buried in my bubble butt. That would be one hell of a mindÐboggling cum! Unfortunatley, though, due to other commitments, my friend is no longer competing in the Games.

My motivation now is just to do as well as I am able. After the shoot with Butch Bear the only next stumbling block is Gay Disney early June in Orlando. Try to go to a weekend party and not splurge, not miss training at the gym, not drink. I currently plan to back off that weekend, just a bit. The good part of it, though, is that I’ll be 5 weeks out from the contest and looking damn good in my posing briefs around the pool. If I can’t find a couple holes to plug with my 7" looking like that I ain’t trying. Yeah, well, call me vain but tell me who doesn’t like to show off all the hard work in the gym and sacrifice in life to get the body you want.

So, I guess training is a blast, and dieting is a bitch, but the sex from doing all that should be phenomenal! Check back and I’ll let you know.

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It’s My Blog and I’ll Fucking Say What I Want

I bet Howard Stern felt like this on the first day of Sirrus Radio broadcast: he could say any expletive he wanted without fear of retribution. Okay, I don’t swear much (that much) but I enjoy the freedom of now being able to do so.

Actually, we have separate feelings, most likely. I did enjoy blogging on my Yahoo! 360¡ profile but pulling my picture when it was clearly modified so it wasn’t offensive was just a bit much. Then I received responses to my post from other 360¡ users who had equally odd experiences (one user had a pic of him fully clothed pulling on his boots removed as it was considered "offenseive"). So now, I host it on my website, for which I pay a monthly fee, and enjoy the freedom of doing as I wantÉunless the Feds step in.

The Bush Administration’s never ending quest to make the US be the US they want it to be is attempting to resurrect legislation to protect children from offensive text and images posted on the internet. It went to Yahoo, MSN, AOL, and Google asking for key words and search parameters frequently used that led to what they view as offensive material. Google is the only company that resisted. The other three rolled over damn fast.

Successful passage of that legislation would, again, probably mean every owner of a website with "offensive" content would need to post something to that fact before a user enters it. I’ll have to smack a label on my site that says "Naughty Stuff Inside." The way I react to this type of dictum would be to append "Kids, go ask mommy and daddy if you can enter, unless they are both drunk or high in the living room and not paying attention to what you are doing." I know my own generation.

I, like every other male of my generationÑwho, it is noteable, are parents of the children who need protection from sites such as mineÑ, grew up looking at porn in stolen Playboy and Hustler magazines. Yet somehow, we all now go to work, earn a living, pay our bills, act responsibly. I think the problem is that many of us don’t exercise our American right to vote.

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Mr Bill, Boy Billionaire, Mocks Poor Children

Billionaire Bill Gates recently mocked the MIT and Google initiative that developed a $100 laptop for students in the developing world. Mr Gates thought the lack of a hard drive and the handle used to generate power for the PC, plus the small screen, made it laughable. It is noteable that the OS for the laptop is cost?free LINUX. He wrapped up his diatribe by presenting the new Microsoft "ultra-mobile computer" that lists from $599 to $999 and, of course, runs Windows.

One minute he is on the cover of Time with his wife and U-2 star Bono being hailed as a philanthropist and the next he is stomping on an intiative to help poor children of the world. Put your money, literally, where your mouth is, Bill: use your own income to supplement the cost of those new mini?computers you are touting so the children of the Third World need only come up with $100 to own. Otherwise, get better handlers for yourself so you know that, in the future, it?s extremely bad form to use a moment of philanthrophy to line your own pockets with the sale of your company?s newest offerings.

P.S.: I own an Apple Powerbook G4 and the only piece of Microsoft software on it is Excel as I need it to read spreadsheets from the office.

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GoodÐbye to Yahoo! 360¡?

My day job is working in IT at a bank. I made some comments, a couple of years ago, about policy in targeting customers and, well, I didn?t get in trouble, but I caused some angst at the least. A quiet guy like me, how could I make that happen?

The first was attending a seminar on how the retail branches used information technology. After the presentation, the floor was opened to any and all questions. I stood and asked the presenter, who was the head of retail IT, if he knew the number of branches the bank had in a certain area of the city. The area is sometimes known as "boystown" so you can imagine who lives in that neighborhood. The presenter admitted he didn't know and I informed him: none.

The second was when every employee had to watch 6 new commercials aimed at new retail customers and small business customers. A feedback sheet was provided. My feedback: "You have targeted, by having a ?representative,? nearly each major race and subculture except gays and lesbians. No wonder you don?t have our business." I signed my name, which was optional, as I feel if I am going to make a comment, I should take responsibility for it.

The feedback first led to my manager being contacted to ask me why I made the comment. I explained and my manager, who was in the session with me, agreed. A few days later I was in the office of some member of the retail area, again to explain my comments. My response was "Do you know what a DINK is?" The person said yes, "Double?Income No Kids." I pointed out that most same?sex couples are DINKS, and in the case of men, most were very well?employed, liked expensive items and trips, enjoyed spending money, and had no issue with mounting credit card debt. I added that the bank?s major competitor supported many of our events, like the Pride Parade. I concluded "A profitable market is being ignored, and that ignorance is being noticed and thus the competition is getting the market as that competitor is catering to that market." I was thanked for my time and excused.

Less than a year passed and there were two new branches in the neighborhood I cited at the seminar on retail technology. The commercial and print marketing hasn't changed as far as I can see but I do note that my employer has been a bit more visible at our events. My tactic was to stress loss of a market, loss of dollars. I didn?t comment on whether the tactics of the bank were wrong, or if there was blatent discrimination. Companies, good companies, companies that want to succeed realize that the idea is to gain profit.

Yes, but how does this relate to my removing my blog from Yahoo! 360¡? I had two comments to that blog that I have addressed with my tale. One comment, unsubstantiated but interesting, is that 98% of the profiles that received TOS notifications were of a GLBT nature. The second comment was that Yahoo! 360¡ is "free." If Yahoo is purposely targeting GLBT?related profiles and 360¡ accounts, it is angering a vast, profitable market. As for being free, just like on every other part of Yahoo!, I am sure banner? and pop?up adds will eventually start appearing on 360¡. Each click on one of those, or on some sponsored link on a Yahoo! search, equates to money for Yahoo!. Perhaps users are not directly paying for the use of Yahoo! but someone is helping pay the bill. It?s all in advertising, baby.

I am mid?way configuring my new blog. I?ll transfer the entries from 360¡ but, sorry, without any of your insightful comments as I?m not sure how I would give you credit.The new blog will be accessible through my website and via a direct URL. Perhaps occasionally I?ll post non?contraversial content on 360¡ just to keep a presence.

If a company cannot support me, why should it expect me to support it?

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Don’t Tag Me

My bareÐassed bear spread at Butch Bear.com has only been out for a few days and the responses received are mostly positive. The negative ones are the nature of "he?s not a bear." It?s a comment I?ve encountered before in the past. The spread of me at BuiltBears.com a couple years ago garnered the same type of response. The reason, according to one posting in response to the BuiltBears.com spread, was that I had no belly.

If any subculture has more cliques than those of men who like men, I?d be surprised. There are circuit boys, A&F boys, bears, musclebears, leathermen, muscleboys, boys, and I am sure a lot more. Every man in the subculture wants to be a member of a group. I think it is natural to want to be with people with whom you have common interests. What amazes me and probably turns a lot of men off is that there are unspoken requirements to be a member.

February, 2001, I was in San Francisco doing a personal appearance. International Bear Rondevous (IBR) was being held at the same time. I wandered down to the event. At the time, I was 170 pounds at my height of just under 5?6", bearded, and hairy. Yet, I was told by a bear that at my weight of 170 I could only be an "otter." The minimum weight to be a bear is 180, I was told. I scoffed. Compare me at my size then and someone who is say 6? 180 pounds and tell me who looks bigger.

Later that evening, when I was at Daddy?s bar in the Castro doing my personal appearance, I was introduced to another animal group: cats. I met this man early when I was selling raffle tickets. He I found immediately attractive but I, at that time, aroused no interest from him. A couple hours later, after I had been introduced to the crowd as a porn star, had been circulating the patrons, showing off, this same man?who by now had a few drinks?cornered me and pressed up against me. Suddenly, I was attractive to him. It was then that he told me that he was a panther (I forget the critiera) and that there were other groupings?like tiger and lynx?as well. The mental image I got at that moment was of a lot of hairy naked men on all fours chasing a catnip ball around the floor.

I try mightly not to get myself stereotyped into a group. It does more harm than good, in my opinion, and one person?s interpretation of "bear" can easily contradict another?s. Living in Chicago, "bear" usually means hairy, bearded, and overweight. With that definition in my head, you can imagine my dismay when I read the copy written to accompany the flick Butthole Buffett from All World?s Video that described me as a bear. I was told by porn star Michael Knight, whose friend actually edited the flick, that in West Hollywood (WeHo) a bear is any man with a hairy chest. My response to Michael was, "Like we need anyone in the WeHo crowd making the defintions for our group."

Being a Butch Bear model is something I value. The shoot was the first time I was modeling for a very skilled photographer who liked to present hairy, masculine, muscular men, and without a doubt I am that type of man. He knew what he was doing because he was photographing what he liked himself to see. My other shoots with studios were, mostly, done with photographers and videographers who liked men who were less hairy to hairless. Hairy was an inconvenience to those studios but a total asset to Butch Bear. Radical.

Despite that, I still don?s categorize myself as a bear. When I step onto the competition stage in July, totally shaved smooth at 5% bodyfat, flexing and straining to show every striation, am I no longer then a bear? What am I at that point? Muscleboy?

Models are whatever the viewer wants them to be: bear, circuit boy, trash, trick, meat, young, mature. I do that myself when I look at images. Just don?t expect me to respond to your comment that I am one hot bear. My reply is "I?m one hot man."

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Nazis Deserve Toaster Ovens, Too

The joke has always been that if a homosexual successfully "recruits" a heterosexual the homosexual is rewarded with the prize of a toaster oven. I?ve never recruited anyone?even the hottest young growing straight?boy bodybuilder at the gym naked except for his sweaty jockstrap seems ready to drop to his knees for a piece of hot daddy?muscle?so I don?t know if the toaster oven thing is true. Now, after two consecutive days of receiving invitations to add to my Yahoo! 360¡ friends list a couple of white?supremecist Nazis, I have to wonder if there are some rewards in recruitment.

Why I?a well?known porn star who has done work with both men and women professionally and privately?would be seen as a potential recruit for guys who think the Nazi Germany SS had some good ideas is beyond me. Is it because my profile pictures has me in leather? Do I have some certain look on my face that just screams "Nazi"? Is it because the couple who adopted and raised me are of German?birth? Are they just generally fishing for anyone who may bite? Are they exhibiting latent homosexual urges looking for an outlet?

My dad is a WWII buff so I grew up with books and videos and talk of it. I also just like history. While I hold the opinion that no one in this world does totally good or totally bad things, I think the Nazis really leaned all the way to totally bad. But I also hold the opinion that as long as a person acts within the law, does not violate the rights of others, and does not advocate the death of others, a person can do as (s)he pleases. I?ll be the first person to support the First Amendement rights of the Klu Klux Klan to demonstrate in Evanston but I?ll also be the first person to condemn their actions and call for jail time when violating private property rights by burning a cross on someone?s lawn on the south side.

I?m amused more than anything at receiving the invitations. I browsed their profiles and those of their friends just to get an idea of who are these men. Most all had a picture of themselves wearing a uniform boasting the swastika. One even had an image of a cigar?smoking SS officer with the caption of something like "a true man of power." Well, for a true man of power, it seems he missed a bit of history in the 1940?s when the Nazi movement came to an end with the cowardly suicide of it?s leader in an underground bunker.

If anyone else has received an invitation such as I have, I?d appreciate knowing.

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A Streetcar Named Fred Hampton

A proposal has been introduced to Chicago's Aldermen to honorarily rename a stretch of a west side street "Chairman Fred Hampton Way." Fred Hampton was one of the leaders of the Black Panthers in Chicago until he was killed in what has been termed by the Chicago Tribune a "controversial 1969 police raid." The Black Panthers were responsible for such geniunely good deeds as starting the "Free Breakfasts for Children Program" which fed an estimated 10,000 kids nation?wide at one point. It was a group, radical by definition, that was simply promoting equal civil rights. The issue many have with giving Hampton an honorary street name is that he advocated the killing of police officers, that is unless his cry of "off the pigs" was actually his personal promotion for more Jimmy Dean sausage.

No one does everything correctly. No one has cornered the market on "ethical" behavior. Fred Hampton lead the Black Panthers in activities that helped improve the lives of the downtrodden. A guy who starts breakfast programs to feed kids isn?t all bad. Giving the man an honorary street is fine by me. My issue is the insensitivity of those who have proposed this by not, as far as the news reports I?ve read, condemning Hampton?s call to "off the pigs". Even if they have condemned his call, the obvious attempt to adjust history a bit by using the word "Chairman"?Hampton was the chairman of Illinois' chapter of the Black Panthers? rather than "Black Panther Leader" remains an issue with me. The word chairman makes one think CEO, businessman, not necessarily freedom fighter or as some would label Hampton "terrorist." The Black Panthers was a radical group, and radical groups are very necessary in implementing changes in a stringent society (remember that the US was founded by radicals, at least as far as the British were concerned). If there is the obvious need to mask Hampton?s identity as leader of a radical group, if there is the obvious need to ignore the words from the man?s own mouth, then I assume that those advocating this proposal have no issue with some in our country ignoring Black History month and such great people as Martin Luther King, Jr., or the history?making courageous acts of a Rosa Parks. Be honest about history even if it isn?t always the best moments.

The call to "off the pigs" is understandable once taken in the context of the time but I find it as dispicable as Reverend Pat Robertson of The 700 Club asking his evengelical congregation to pray for more vacancies on the Supreme Court. Don?t advocate death; enough of it happens daily without promotion. Chicago police are rightfully concerned and even insulted as who wants to give recognition to someone that calls for the death of their own? The fact that, as far as I know, none of those Aldermen and citizens advocating the street name have condemned Hampton?s quote probably disturbs the officers equally as much.

Give the man his street name; he remains an important figure in the fight for civil rights and US history. It is a simple way of recognizing that all people can do good deeds even while doing some that are considered "bad" by others. Just be honest about truth and history: he called for the death of police. Publically condemn that call and place the man in his right place in history (no rewrites, please).

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I Like Ainsley Hayes

The second season of NBC's The West Wing introduced the character of Ainsley Hayes, a beautiful blonde female Republican pitbull who is offered and accepts a position as Associate White House Counsel in the Democratic White House of the fictional Bartlett Administration. This character introduced the concept that not all Republicans are evil as many Democratics would wish to have them portrayed, do have good ideas, and don't kill their pets. The character also showed that Democrats haven't cornered the market on all the correct answers and even a Republican can provide valid input.

Ainsley was often paired with Rob Lowe's character of Sam Seaborn. During an exchange with Sam regarding Ainsley's intended return to her alma mater to speak against the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), the character Ainsley made a statement that has since stuck in my head: "Every time a new law is passed another small bit of my freedom is taken away." Sam argues that Ainsley should support the ERA for such reasons as equal pay for equal work. Ainsley replies that a law passed in the 1960's already guarantees that regardless of gender. It is then that the character makes her statement.

Chicago's non-smoking ordinance went into effect just a couple of weeks ago. It has started with public buildings and businesses such as restaurants; bars have a 2 year reprieve. I am a childhood asthmatic who doesn't smoke cigarettes but has the occasional cigar...particularly to blow the smoke in the faces of cute, young muscleboys entranced by muscledaddies (yeah, I admit it: I'm becoming one). My issue with the ordinance is that no one in the past has forced me to enter a smoke-filled bar or restaurant though I gather that many asthmatics have. The citizens promoting the smoking ban, who I refer to hereout as the Clean Air Tyrants or just Tyrants, cite reasons such as the health of employees of these smoke-infested establishments and that asthmatics such as myself just can't eat in such a restaurant. I think the Tyrants, if really concerned about any smoke-related health issues for me and everyone they feel compelled to protect from ourselves, should have just gone for a complete ban on the sale of the heavily-taxed, city-budget-saving cigarettes. Furthermore, if these minature dictators really truly were concerned about my not exposing myself to anything that might cause me health issues, a ban on all restaurant food with a significant amount of fat and refined sugar would have been enacted. Oh, and don't forget alchol. (Many restaurants and bars, believe it or not, are places known for allowing us all to freely indulge our vices, by our own choice.)

I admit this is a complex issue. But as Ainsley said (and I know you were wondering when she would be tied in to this blog entry even knowing the fact I'd boink her if I had the chance), "...another small bit of my freedom" has been taken away. America is the land of freedom of choice, including the freedom to make what may be considered by some?but not all?a wrong choice. The ills caused by smoking have been documented for years; I don't have much sympathy for those who indulge the habit to only whine about health issues later. I simply dislike morality being legislated, either for health reasons or, oh say for example, for defenseless children who need government-sponsored protection from First Amendment freedom-of-speech-protected internet porn as said childrens' parents are too selfishly occupied with their own lives to safeguard that of the off-spring these purposely negligent adults brought into the world.

I would have been satisfied, and I actually stated this on the Chicago Tribune's website, if the Clean Air Tyrants had gathered page after page of signed petitions to present to the owners of establishments that allowed smoking and the owners voluntarily banned smoking. These signed petitions would give the owners an idea of how many customers, i.e., profit, is potentially lost if smoking was not banned from the business. I think that was too much leg work for these cowardly dictators who instead hid behind spineless Aldermen/-women to enact their wishes on the rest of us. This is a capitalistic society, a place where business owner enacts any necessary change if there is the potential loss of money due to inaction. It is true that statistics have shown very little of loss of business for New York and California establishments, where a smoking ban is in effect, but I just don't like being told what I have to do on something that is really a personal choice. A personal choice much like the one of whether to patronize a restaurant known to mostly offer food that is clearly documented to be less than adequate for good health.

I don't particularly like the fact that there are so many "unhealthy," fast food restaurants dotting the map of the US of A. Yet, I'm not looking to have said businesses be closed for the sake of protecting those who cannot resist the call of high-fat, cheese-laden foods. I simply don't patronize the place. The word "hypocrite" needs to be emblazened in red letters across the collective fat lazy asses of any Clean Air Tyrant seen entering one of these establishments.

Okay, let the responses fly. And, for all you Ainsley fans: http://westwing.bewarne.com/ainsley.html.

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It’s All The Rage: Being Me!

I was amused recently when someone on-line tried to convince me he was Ross Taylor. This person had Ross' pictures, information, credits, just general information that is freely available on the web. I was logged in as my "true" identity at the time so I went along for a while, basically because even with 500 channels there is still little worthwhile viewing on TV and I was bored. Eventually I tired of the game and asked why he didn't send me "his" pictures using Ross' email at @worksbestnaked.com. He replied it was easier via AOL since we were both on AOL at the time. My response was then to copy and paste the entire IM conversation into an email and send to him via rosstaylor@worksbestnaked.com. He suddenly was no longer on-line.

Chatrooms and IMs have allowed the internet become a virtual bar to the nth degree. One can be pretend to have a different career, an envious lifestyle in a bar but it's hard to to physically pretend to be someone else as, well, it's in a bar and it's dead-on live (someone did try with me in a bar once but the "I-had-an-accident-and-I-had-to-have-major-plastic-surgery" excuse didn't fly). The 'net makes it all different as most physical information is relayed either through a description and/or images, both easy to fudge.

My eye for distinguishing between a professional photograph and one done with your Nikon CoolPix camera is pretty good (yes, that was a plug for Nikon but I happen to like the hardware and it's not a paid endorsement). It comes in handy when assessing that image I just received from "HugeHardMuscle" on AOL or "BigBouncingPecs" on Yahoo. The fact that I model for erotica means I can usually tell if an image was done for that venue. Add to that I know a lot of the bodies and faces of models and pro-bodybuilders means one has to be really good to fool me. Pretending to be Jake Gianelli, Ali Matteu, Jason Arntz, Matt Rush, the current cover model on whatever fitness magazine, it just doesn't work on me. I'm a pitbull when I realize I'm being had, and I become incensed when the person continues?despite overwhelming evidence?to try and convince me he is who he claims.

The usual fakers are those who pass on images of great bodies, either fitness models or bodybuilders or just from guys who really put in more than the usual effort in the gym. I interpret that as most men want to be buff and built. My response to those who participate in such a fraud is to get into the gym. My sympathy extends not that far as I was pretty much a tubbo when I was growing up. My reasoning is if I can put in the effort and sacrifice, so can anyone else. I find it insulting to any person, including myself, who has put in the time and sacrifice to build a body like that to have someone claim it as their own.

Here are some of the items I've noticed as clues to a person being a fraud:

  1. An embedded picture in an AOL mail saves with the filename untitled.jpg or the like, a sure sign it was copied and pasted.
  2. The measurements listed in the profile in no way matches the images provided.
  3. There is no picture of the person with the head and body in the same shot.
  4. Saying "I have to be discreet." The internet is hardly discreet; it is the First Amendment gone wild. It is hard to buy this excuse especially on a "sex" site.
  5. You know for a fact most porn stars and models are not from Idaho or the like, nor do they visit unless really wellÐpaid.
  6. The person only has 1 picture or none as he is waiting for them to be finished from his latest "shoot."

Either be the person you are or become the person you wish to be. Do it honestly, though. I'm happy to share my experience and knowledge. Most that I know that bodybuild are the same. Just knock off the "identify theft." If you wish to continue the stupidity to perpetrate such a fraud, at least have the brains to verify your target isn't who you claim to be.

P.S.: If any of you have any other items to share on how to spot a fraud, let me know.

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Volunteer Your Own Children First, Mr President

I made friends with this young Marine at my gym last Fall. The way he was working out, the look on his face, I knew he was hungry to get big. That type of determination I like so I started giving him advice. We became friends, occasionally train together, occasionally talk on the phone. He is also straight and I have no idea if he knows I like men as well. That's besides the point of this topic, though.

He told me earlier this week he was being shipped to Iraq in June.

This boy just turned 21 one week ago today. He was in the process of buying his first condo. His famly is here, he has a girlfriend he's trying to dump and another he's working on (he's 21! he's supposed to). Now he gets to go to the other side of the world to fight in a conflict (I refuse to call it a war as I don't recall Congress declaring war on Iraq) that most Americans agree had no justification (where are those darn WMDs) and seems to have no end.

He’s young, he's cute, he's happy, he's responsible, he's a pain because he doesn't leave voice messages when he calls and I can't answer, he's a joy to see when he's working out right, and he's going to a place in the world where most of the citizens dislike Americans and many of them are actively trying to kill Americans.

When the Bush daughters both enlist and go over, I'll be okay with seeing my young friend enter this conflict. Until then, this conflict continues to be, for me, a way for the current Adminstration to try and prove to the world that they have the biggest dick.

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Ann Rice’s Christ the Lord

I finished reading Ann Rice's new book, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt a few weeks ago. It is something I recommend for people to read despite individual religious preferences. Rice's vampire novels never captured my attention?I never felt the need to feel sorry or sympathy for a vampire as the creature is meant to be pure evil?but this new book kept my interest. Raised a Methodist and now an atheist, it is odd that I'd recommend a book about Jesus Christ. The book, however, obviously has good research behind it about that time in history, Jewish customs, their trials, their faith. It's an easy read, not too long, and interesting.

It is told in first person from Jesus' viewpoint from age 7 to 8. He knows that somehow he is special, and hears rumors about Bethlehem and such, but his parents and relatives keep mum. He has "powers" and isn't exactly sure the source or how to truly control. It is definitely a growing book.

My aunt, a devoted Catholic, did not like the book. "I don't think it's a good portrayal of him as a little boy," she told me. "Have you ever been a little boy? I have, and it's good," I answered. "But he's a special little boy," was her reply.

I think my brief conversation with her on that one topic is enough to explain why some devoted Christians may have issue with the portrayal: Jesus is always presented as God-like from birth on in the Bible while in this book, he's pretty normal with normal boy problems and desires and questions. He is definitely the son of God in Rice's novel, though he does not realize it initially, but she treats him as a human first and god second. My own opinion is that her portrayal is correct, as if he was acting god-like at age 7, he would have been crucified way before the age of 33.

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Turn the Stereo(type) Down

Contrary to popular stereotypes, models who work in the "adult entertainment industry" are not all sex-crazed, pill-popping, alcohol-swilling, sex-party-attending, ethic-less individuals bent on pure pleaure, getting money as easily as possible, and hustling through life. Actually, we're all people like the rest of you who, for some reason or another, fell into the industry that creates the fantasies everyone wants to live but can't (do you really think it's possible for that orgy to happen in the locker room on a Saturday afternoon and no one on the weight room floor noticing it?). Most of us all have regular hour jobs, from bars to restaurants to small business to large corporations. A steady paycheck with health benefits and 401Ks are things we all appreciate.

It's very gratifying when I get a compliment, live or via eMail, of "I love your work." My mother, who knows nothing of "Ross Taylor," would say that "work" was hardly worth notice, let alone even happening. But the "work" is just this: creating the (sexual) fantasies we all have. It is maddening, tho, when I and my fellow "co-workers" are considered "less" than those in our community who do not model even though they buy and rent our "work" by the millions each year.

Since starting in the sex biz, I pay little attention to porn. Occasionally, tho, a box cover crosses my path with a title that makes me wish I had been cast in it. An excellent example is Titan Media's Pumped Up, the third in the "Up" series from Titan released in the first couple years of this century (I was cast in the first of the series, Jacked Up). Pumped Up is placed in a gym, somewhere that I spend a lot of a time. Having hot non-stop sex in a gym, on the benches, in the locker room, in the showers, is a constant hard-on for me. Yet, that is never going to happen at the gym where I train, nor at any other gym as far as I'm concerned (keep your mind on the weights at the gym, and if you want to fuck that hot guy squatting over in the leg area, ask him to the bathhouse afterwards [when in Chicago, visit Steamworks at Halsted and Aldine]).

Next time you see a model live, such as a benefit event, or get an email address, and you like his/her work, let the person know. This goes for the studios, as well: if you think one of the DVDs was hot as fuck, write the studio to voice your opinion and thanks. You can also offer valid criticism to both model and studio, but back it up with evidence and not just stereotypical hacking words just because you feel the need to denegrate someone to make yourself feel more important.

Models do this work because they like it not because they are necessarily desperate. I'm sure many of you get compliments on your work by your employer, and get compensated. Don't blast models negatively for the same.

P.S.: Same goes for escorts.

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